Anticipation is a difficult feeling. But what’s more difficult than anticipation is the anticipation of a variable response. I can’t tell you what I’m waiting for, not exactly, but it has to do with a job I want extremely bad. It’s a position that needs to be filled by May 2nd. I applied at the beginning of this month, have been in touch with the people in charge of the hiring, but I still feel like I’m walking on fishing hooks–or at least one is stuck in my chest somewhere, and every once in a while when I think about the position, it gives a little jerk.
It’s interesting–because yesterday I wrote about the constant fulfillment we seek, and this job is no different. It would fulfill a desire I have. And then I’d just construct a new desire. So why do I think this job, this position, would make me any happier?
Well, besides taking a lot of financial stress out of my life (though I’d fill that with a different stress), it’s because the position is one that would put me in a position to help other people directly. Now, there’s this idea that if people are left to their own devices and don’t have jobs but still have enough to live, they won’t do anything. They’ll just sleep late and sit on their couches like mindless zombies. But that’s not true at all. Most people are the happiest when they feel the are contributing to a society, a culture, or a community in an integral way. Think about Bill Gates. He has more money than he could ever want or need. Does he just sit on his couch? No he goes out and has done wonderful things with the Gates Foundation. Okay, I think I know what you’ll say, “Not everyone has the resources of Bill Gates,” and that’s true. But that doesn’t mean that people with less can’t make a difference in other’s lives. For example: If I didn’t have to worry about money I could spend more time on my creative writing. I’d maybe start a creative writing community group for teens. I could spend my time mentoring young adults, and help give them a voice, while also continuing to make art that influences people in, I hope, a positive manner. The crazy thing is, I wouldn’t be paid for that, what I am paid for (right now) is making coffee for people at a convention center. This points it a crazy, crazy realism in our society: There is more money, more value put on making coffee for people, than there is put on youth and education from someone who isn’t part of an educational institution. But how many people have something to teach. A valuable skill, a passion that, if they could share it would be SO much more beneficial to society than making coffee, or working retail, or. . . whatever. But helping people because you love something isn’t monetarily rewarded in this country. Instead, fulfilling peoples impulses to buy, to eat, and to fill their time with petty fulfillment is. Blurg. I think there is a better way to do things.
What if you didn’t have to worry about money? If you could do whatever you wanted in order to help others? What would you do? No, I’m actually interested. Let me know. . . please?