Do you love me–really?
or are we both afraid to be alone?
Three days ago I thought I knew you.
Now when you call I don’t know what to say.
After work today, you called to tell me something
weird. Your old co-workers from LA were
in your restaurant. It was unlikely,
but my mind was blank.
All I said was, “huh?”
Then we talked about nothing until you
“I’m going to concentrate on walking.”
I’m going to concentrate on walking
What does that mean?
Three days ago we told each other
we loved one another.
When we hung up today we both said,
because, I think, saying, “I miss you.” or
“I love you.” would taste stale in my mouth.
Because for the last two day you have
not said it but when I said it.
Three days ago you said it so often,
so much. and when I said it back I meant
every word every time and I think you did
Now when I say it you say it without a
smile. or without looking at me.
And when you do look at me, I see none
of that excitment I once saw in those
eyes–only fear–or worry–or
a distracted gaze.
Three days ago you told me you
had a lot to figure out. You told me
you had so much to do–so little time.
I said if you needed to be along then
you should be alone.
You said I was right.
Three days ago you said you wanted me
to stay the whole week.
Now I wonder if you want me to stay another
day. And when you said you’d be house
sitting for some time I wondered, for a
moment, if you’d be inviting me. Then that moment
stretched into silence and I understood that
you wouldn’t and I wasn’t.
See, it comes back to such little time.
It comes back to that single “bye.”
It’s the time we have spent when everything
has been perfect.
But like you said three days ago–
“It feels like the honeymoon is over.”
And now I feel as though I’m waiting for
to make up your mind.